I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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