do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
