her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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