i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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