Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
