need another drink. this is the easiest way
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
