I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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