OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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