I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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