If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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