Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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