so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They have beer where we have blood.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
