we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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