who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
