the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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