1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Do you still have your period?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
