Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
