ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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