Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
