so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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