everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
