This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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