you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
