i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
