My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
