I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize