dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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