I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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