Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you never un-have a 4some
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
