Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
