I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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