you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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