The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Sorry my hands just texted you
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just high enough for therapy.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
