ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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