Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize