Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
