I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
