Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
