Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
