just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
