Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
