he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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