im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
