I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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