ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
