Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
True strength comes from lack of pants
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
