Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize