Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
