My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize