I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
it's like iHOP with fire
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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