There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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