im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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