It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
