if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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