I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
