I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
