No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
